It’s heartbreaking. You’re watching your parent struggle with confusion and memory loss, and you feel powerless to help. And although it’s likely you already understand that supporting a parent through Alzheimer’s or dementia requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to meet them where they are, the right mindset can only take you so far. If you’re wondering how to help a parent with dementia and considering a memory care community as a next step, here are some strategies to help you persevere in the meantime.

What are the Symptoms?

Dementia can go beyond general confusion and forgetfulness. Some older adults living with dementia or Alzheimer’s suffer from hallucinations and may see or hear things that aren’t there, like people or places from their past. They may also suffer delusions: false beliefs they think are real. For example, they might become fixated on an incident from the past that never happened or develop an irrational worry or concern.

The symptoms of their condition can also affect their emotions. For example, paranoia linked to memory loss may make them believe you or others are being malicious, lying, or unfair, which can lead to feelings of suspicion or jealousy. While it may be distressing to witness your parent in this state, thoughtful strategies like the ones below can help you weather the storm as a caregiver.

Don’t Be Reactive

If you’re caring for a parent with dementia and they become anxious, agitated, or fearful, don’t react negatively. Maintaining a relaxed demeanor and gentle tone can help minimize confusion and create an atmosphere of calm. Speak slowly and clearly, sticking to short sentences and simple words.

Nonverbal cues like eye contact, smiles, or gentle touch can also produce a soothing effect. An exception, however, is if they become violent. If this happens, stay at a safe distance until the behavior stops. If you need to, call their doctor for advice, or, if it’s an emergency, call 911 for medical assistance.

Provide a Distraction

Distractions can be a tool in your toolbox for deescalating disruptive or self-harming behavior. To reduce agitation in the moment, recapture your parent’s attention with a neutral question, change the environment they’re in, or suggest doing an activity they enjoy. To decrease distress, try introducing a pleasant sensory item like a soft blanket or calming scent, and removing any agitating influences by, for example, turning off an overstimulating TV show.

Prevent Sundowning

If your parent’s confusion tends to worsen in the late afternoon or evening, also known as “sundowning,” there’s a range of strategies you can try. Initiate a calming activity in the evenings, like listening to soft music or quiet meditation. Make sure to limit their access to any substances like alcohol, caffeine, or sleep aids that can exacerbate sundowning. More natural light during the day, nightlight at night, and light-blocking curtains can also be helpful to minimize the effects of sundowning.

Avoid Changes to Routine

For a parent with dementia, daily routines provide a much-needed sense of predictability, which can be extremely comforting for those with memory issues. Try to maintain those routines by keeping to a regular meal and bedtime schedule. To help your loved one stay on track, you can also use visual reminders and calendars and label objects around the home to provide a quick mental reference. Help them trust their environment by refraining from making any visible changes, such as rearranging furniture, that could cause confusion or distress.

Seek Out Support

Are your loved one’s care needs becoming too complex to manage at home? Start by exploring senior living communities that offer specialized dementia care designed to provide the structure, safety, and expertise they need. At Thrive Senior Living, our memory care communities offer 24/7 support in a calming environment, enriching activities and social opportunities, and a compassionate team trained specifically in dementia care.

For more dementia care resources, download our free Caregivers Support Guide, which features ways to cope with common caregiver challenges, strategies to improve communication with your loved one, and how to know when it’s time to explore senior living. For more general information about Thrive communities, call one of our senior living experts or schedule an in-person tour!